Risky Things to ask your Pastor
showing the BRETHREN GRACE
I have been watching a biblical change take place that is
not beneficial, and can bring harm to the pastor member relationship.
There are an increasing number of pastors that want only smooth sailing in their ministry without any rocking the boat. If you ask them hard questions they will either look at you as a trouble maker or shut down their relationship they have with you. That is not how they are to treat the sheep that are under them. Those who have this leadership position are to be just as accountable as any other member, not less. We should all be equals in the body of Christ.
Pastors are not to be like politicians that go around and kiss babies and schmooze with everyone and not really be involved in their lives. Pastors are part of the body; and though they have a different position they are to be there for you, really there.
1 Cor. 12:22-26: “No, much rather, those members of the body which seem to be weaker are necessary. And those members of the body which we think to be less honorable, on these we bestow greater honor; and our unpresentable parts have greater modesty, but our presentable parts have no need. But God composed the body, having given greater honor to that part which lacks it, that there should be no schism in the body, but that the members should have the same care for one another. And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; or if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it.”
They are to be there for you when you go though hard times and be able to speak what is necessary into your life, yet they are to be able to receive it also. I have seen pastors (I use this term loosely) kick people when they are down and out, not care. Though by their mouth they say they do care but their actions say otherwise. This is because they live in a bubble of protection, set up by them-self, their elders or have an elitist attitude.
People who have a conscience will minister to those in need not ignore them or find something else to do.
Some pastors want you to accept them because of their office without earning the respect of being in that office. They want you to overlook when they are wrong and have no avenue to speak correction to them. This severs a growing relationship with those who are new in the faith that may have questions on certain topics; as well as those mature enough to discern something is wrong and want to help.
1 Peter 5:5 is often referred to “Likewise you younger people, submit yourselves to your elders.” But it does not stop there it goes on to say, “Yes, all of you be submissive to one another, and be clothed with humility, for “God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”
Pride will always make a leader divisive. Those who do not practice servanthood to Christ or his body want you to serve and submit to them. but they are there to serve us, that is what their position calls for and this means they need to be patient with those who have a complaint or constructive criticism. An abused wife does not have to respect her husband; neither do we have to respect these men who abuse their office and us.
Eph. 4:15-16: “but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head-- Christ--
from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies, according to the effective working by which every part does its share, causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love.”
Love does not mean one has to be soft spoken, approach with their head down and apologize for seeing something wrong. Love is an action and attitude to want the best for others.
Pastors are often those who oversee the spiritual growth of a family, from a child to an adult, as a child learns they should not be stumbling them in their growth of faith. I have heard so many stories of those who left the church and even Christ because of the way a pastor treated them, I have seen up close and personal, pastor’s,elder’s unrepentant in the worst behavior and walk away thinking they served the Lord in that situation.
Matt 18:6-7 “But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to sin, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were drowned in the depth of the sea. “Woe to the world because of offenses! For offenses must come, but woe to that man by whom the offense comes!” (Lk. 17:2-4 Jesus applies this to those who rebuked their brother who offended them and remain unrepentant)
Many times friends to the pastor feel comfortable enough to ask what is this you are doing? When you question something you find out how strong your friendship really is. This is how you know the pastor is obeying Christ or halfheartedly acknowledging your concerns hoping you will go away.
A church cannot see what’s wrong when they do not use the Bible. You cannot have them do what’s right, if they don’t know what right is any longer. It does not matter what denomination or non denomination they are, this problem can surface in any church. If the Bible is not used and you hear, well this is what the pastor wants, this is his position and he cannot stand on the word for a certain practice then you know something is seriously wrong and it is not run as Christ would want. It’s run by man who wants his way and is not submissive to God’s authority.
Some Hot topics:
Whatever you do - ask the pastor about these subjects at your own risk
THE MUSIC: Why are they playing songs with unbiblical lyrics, worldly songs or songs that are teaching false doctrine (but sound good). Be careful asking about this subject as the worship leaders are often ingratiated in the church, on staff and the pastors themselves may pick out the songs. They make take any criticism personal. They are called worship leaders not musicians; we should expect them to lead the assembly of saints into praise and worship. This becomes one of the main hands off areas and one of the weakest points the enemy can find a way in.
If you ask them why they are introducing something to the church that we do not believe, or ask them if it is necessary to practice. Truth by correction is not easily accepted, especially by pastors that involve themselves in non biblical matter for the church. They have already opened themselves up to error and correction does not come easy to those who are in charge of so many others. If you don’t go along with the new program[s] they may have you leave by bluntly asking you to, because to them, you are the one causing division. They may make it very difficult for you to fellowship among those who are going along with the changes implemented.
Some churches take in large amounts of money. They are to be transparent and should have a quarterly report to the members. Don’t ask about their salaries or where the money is going, especially if the church is big on tithing, it will be frowned upon by most pastors.
Some churches publish how much money was tithed last week in their bulletin, they may have some rational reason for doing this but it often there to make people feel guilty and give more.
Asking why is our church affiliating with a church that does not believe what we do on certain core doctrines. If they are committed to this unity without any biblical parameters it can certainly open up a flood of false teaching into the church. Churches need to be careful whom they unite in ministry with because what they are doing is making them there friends and having their congregation open to various new and unbiblical ways and cause confusion.
Mentioning to a pastor that the teaching from the pulpit is milk or weak is offensive. Sometimes you may need to point out to a pastor that he is not doing what he is teaching. This needs to be backed up. Some pastors have put themselves under a delusion that their every decision they make is of God.
If you have brought things up in the past and they have not been well received or the outcome had not turned out well, don’t expect a different result. Most likely this will affect whatever you bring up afterwards, even though each thing should be judged on its own merit. So choose your battles carefully. It’s always good to present it tactfully, without blame; maybe as a question instead of insinuating or telling them they are doing something wrong.
Also, you may not get the right results quickly, it may take time or it may never happen. That is when you have to weigh out you options of staying under leadership like this or not. I know this is not what people like to hear but this is the reality we all face in the last days, 21st century church. If your pastor reacts wrongly and consistently acts like this, it’s time to leave and not look back.
After proof is submitted and a pastors solidifies his position against the facts you know that he is not interested in the truth. If a pastor disagrees with you he should be able to persuade your objection by using the word of God. But if he is not on the side of the word with a practice or function he is introducing into the church people should recognize this as strong shepherding. You don’t have to go along with it just because he is the pastor. I’m not saying cause a rebellion, but you should bring another person as a witness and help in the matter, If the pastor cuts you off from doing this it becomes serious. Be cause this is what the Bible instructs us to do. Then his leadership needs to be questioned because a church can turn into a cult under leadership like this.
When the elders always side with the pastor or he is never challenged and his decisions go unchecked, there will be abuse.
If a church pastor says “If you don’t like what we are doing there’s the door, you can leave.” He is saying that there is to be no discussion, his word is final, and you should leave. Because this is exactly what the cults do to manipulate their members into submission.
Pastors often have a harder time with humility because of their position on teaching everyone. Trust is always based on honesty and building up a relationship, when this breaks down so will communication. A meek pastor has to have the ability to reflect on what he is doing wrong but the haughty do not. The haughty don’t like showing any vulnerability so they will avoid any confrontation that will bring correction to them. When one is filled with pride they will not repent nor be corrected.
James 3:1-2 My brethren, let not many of you become teachers, knowing that we shall receive a stricter judgment.
1 Timothy 5:24-25 Some men's sins are clearly evident, preceding them to judgment, but those of some men follow later.
I say this to those who have the office of an elder. If you can’t be corrected by a member of the body how can you be corrected by God? If you can’t be led into the truth how do you lead others into the truth?